Willow Branches in Autumn Winds

This article, and particularly this quote, reminded me of what I posted the other day.  For the record, I don’t think a lot of this applies to me—I do feel just as happy overall now as I did before we had Isaac, and although marriage has definitely become more challenging, Mark and I both agree that we are just as satisfied with our marriage now as we were before.  

What I get from this article is that at least part of what makes parents not enjoy parenting is not simply raising children, but raising children in our current culture where expectations are so intense, and certain things are just accepted as the norm.  For example, the article talks about parents becoming less interesting people because all they talk about is “soccer and coupons” or they’re too tired to talk at all so they end up sitting in front of the TV.  Mark and I are trying to go against some of the cultural norms—we don’t have cable and watch TV very rarely.  We don’t feel the need to buy a lot of expensive stuff, so we don’t both feel pressured to work for money (although, I might like to work for the satisfaction it gives me).  There is also a definite push in this culture to make the children the center of the family—everything revolves around them and making sure they have “everything.”  Mark and I don’t buy that—we love our son, but we know that, for the sake of our children, our marriage needs to come first.  And, as some friends commented on my previous post, I agree that our children need to see us being our authentic selves, and need to see that we have an identity other than mom and dad.

I think I should also add that, while this article refers to children as a source of joy,and I do experience great joy through being Isaac’s mom, I also know that the true source of my joy is Jesus.  This article doesn’t mention any difference in how parents view parenting in light of their faith.  Knowing that my joy, worth and identity come from God, and not from my abilities as a parent, is probably why I can say I feel just as happy overall now as I did before I had a child.